Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize