I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
This is classic penis vs brain.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
