He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
