My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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