I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
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