Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
