are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
