he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
