Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
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dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
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Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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