Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
