Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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