you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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