Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
