i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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