he thought i was a dude.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
