i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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