Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
we're so committed to being not committed
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