u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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