I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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