Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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