I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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