I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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