it wasn't lemon gatorade
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
