I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i think my mom watched the whole time
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
