Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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