"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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