none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
