chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize