So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
