Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
