im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
