My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
