Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
