I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
