I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
