i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
