Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
