Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
