So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
