Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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