Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
