Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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