party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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