I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
