she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Enjoy the penises
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
