What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I think I just sharted jello shots
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