why didn't you poke me back
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
