Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
