this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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