dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You ruined the universe
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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