She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
