They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
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He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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