You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
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Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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