Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize