My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
